softplum:

me @ myself: wtf girl??!!!!! why r u sharing this online !!!?! Shut Up !!!!!!!

turing-tested:

whenever i see a sleeping kitties paws unguarded i understand exactly how eve felt about the apple

bakwaaas:

child of a rich person who doesn’t have to do anything

queenrecluse:

a mug that just says “don’t talk to me until i’ve fucked your wife”

everythingfox:

Dramatic

lamemtv:

no. you know what? fuck you. *uncaramelizes your onions*

relahvant:

*puts metaphor between teeth* it’s a cigarette

trainthief:

trainthief:

Fuck all customers except whoever left us an anonymous store review saying they drive by three other locations to come to ours because they’re bisexual and everyone who works here is hot

this review has been usurped by my new favorite which is “when I pulled up to the drive through window I heard all the employees loudly making jokes about the marital problems our troops face. very disappointed, will not be returning.”

pakchoys:

oh today i am cringing my way through all my old sketchbooks….. age 13, baby’s first time using oils